ONE THING YOU CAN DO WHEN THINGS GET TOUGH

Today’s idea may sound trivial to you. For a good reason. 

In times like this, we feel overwhelmed and stressed. Not sure about you, but for me, days got busier. It feels like there is less time and suddenly more things to do. Some days feel on edge; my mind races with planning, ideas, and to-do list almost from the moment I wake up. Is it the same for you?

Not knowing how long it all will last adds extra weight to it. We can’t predict, we can’t plan, we sense a lot of uncertainty. And it feels SCARY, heavy and worrying. It’s hard to feel hopeful and find energy and positivity to deal with the new every-day when things look daunting. And I know this feeling- we are still in New Zealand, away from home and our normal life (not mentioning the little things like warmer clothes that we start to need more, as the weather is turning into autumn here!). Our last flight was canceled and we have no clue when international flights will be available again for us to fly back to Europe. Talking about uncertainty and not knowing 😉 

So what can we do instead? 

Keep it small. Keep it simple. 

If you’ve followed me a bit, you know that I am a fan of habits. I freaking love habits and am fascinated by the science behind creating them. I often talk about small habits and tiny micro-actions we can take to start. Because starting is the hardest, and this is why it needs to be done right. Thinking small helps you to feel better about the goal or the situation- it’s less intimidating and our mind sees is as something doable. For example, if you want to make a habit of reading a book daily, it may seem like a lot to add to your day. But if you phrase it as ‘I will read 1 page every day’, it suddenly feels feasible (and even exciting?!). Chances are you end up reading more than 1 page, but it’s not the point. The point is that you will read:  take that book in your hand and make a habit of it.

Back to the overwhelm.

One thing that helps to me to get through the packed chaotic days is this: narrowing the focus. Don’t put your energy into what’s far ahead of us or count down the lockdown days religiously. Don’t focus on the large picture so much – do the opposite. In times like that, when there’s so much unknown and the near future looks daunting, narrow your focus. Think small, plan small. Bring yourself back to today. 

For me, it looks like taking each day as it comes; day by day. I try not to talk about next week or the day after tomorrow. I talk about today. I plan all the stuff I want or need to get done today and I break them down if I need to. For example, we made a daily roster with my husband to make it clear and fair on who looks after the kids. It helps us to do actual work and take a breather. My daily chunks are therefore 8-1 pm or 1-6 pm, and I focus on those chunks. From one to another. Work —> child care. Repeat the next day.

If you need to, you can make it even smaller- narrow it down to getting to your next meal, your next Facetime call with your mum, the next home workout series you challenge yourself to or even to the next nappy change for your baby. Whatever it is, you can chunk it down and focus on reaching that next step only.  

You will see that you can do this; you will feel more motivated. Because all you need to get to is that one small next thing. 

What can you expect?

What will happen is that you will start to feel good about yourself and the stuff you’ve done today. It will help you to look more positively at tomorrow and you will build resilience. You will see that you can do this, that you’ve got your back, that you can trust yourself and are capable. That, although it doesn’t seem like at that moment, that you are moving forward. Day by day; meal by meal; nappy by nappy. 

I don’t know about you, but this approach resonates with me more than looking into the unknown future and focusing purely on all the uncertainty and the toilet paper drama. It is what it is, for now, we can’t control that. What you can control is deciding on what will you focus on.