Have you been there also? Waiting to make a decision? Making a change? Start something new? 

Making decisions can be a scary animal: we often can feel like not knowing what will happen is so paralysing. And, that fear of making the wrong decision. Oh, and also that procrastination. Or that stage where we’re stuck and are making any decisions ‘just because for no reason’. 

What is that one decision you’ve been putting off and need to make?

Do you take action now or keep hanging to see ‘what happens’? The future can be uncertain; this is true. But, it is also true that the future is always unclear – the coronavirus pandemic or not. You never have certainty, and things are never granted. It’s an illusion we all like to hang on to. Why? Because waiting often can feel comforting. It feels better, cosier and somewhat ‘safer’ than deciding.  

But here is a little secret. By not making any changes, nothing will change.

Is there a fitness routine you have been waiting to try?

A few extra pounds that make you dread that biking season?

Is there a behaviour that you want to change but can’t decide when to work on this?

Is there a hobby you’ve been talking for ages but never actually started?

A new cooking routine you wanted to implement for your family? 

Now, when we wait or procrastinate with making a decision, we end up with this strange heaviness. This feeling that we owe something, that something isn’t finished. And that bunch of unmade decision can often weigh us down. Do you know that feeling? This is why when we sometimes finally make a decision, we get this sudden rush, the flow of positive emotions, lightness or even euphoria (a lovely description from one of my client :)). 

So, what if instead of waiting for the future perfect timing, perfect day, perfect body or ideal cookbook that will inspire you, you make the decision today? What do you think it will feel like? And, even better, what doors will it open up for you? 

Can you say instead ‘ when…., I will….’, just simply say ‘ today, I am going to…’. How does it shift things for you? 

FIVE POWERFUL EXERCISES FOR WHEN YOU’RE STUCK IN THE DECISION MAKING LIMBO:

1. Familiarise yourself with the fear behind it. Are you scared of ‘what will happen if…’? Or maybe of ‘what won’t happen if…’? Or perhaps of ‘what if it won’t work again?‘. I like to turn it around and also ask: ‘but what if it will work’? Reflect on these questions and see how it can change your perspective. 

2. Evaluate, but don’t overthink it. You make decisions; you can always change them. Don’t let the ‘it’s final’ thought to scare you (our brain loves being dramatic sometimes). So think: what is the risk involved here? If you want to decide on when will you start living toxic-free and eating healthier, what is your risk? Three heads of uneaten broccoli in your fridge? A new pair of new Lululemon leggings? 2 days of sugar withdrawals? Sometimes when we look at the ‘risk’ side of things, it can even make us smile a bit. That thing we were overthinking or have been waiting for is not that risky or scary after all. 

3. Be bold, but take it slowly. Instead of allowing fear to take over you, choose to break the pattern. Be brave and make the decision and take action right away regardless of how does it feel when you’re making it. After that, take small steps and stay consistent. The power isn’t in big leaps, but often the small changes we can stick to in the long run (think of changing your eating patterns, e.g. get rid of all the junk food and processed food from your house, but don’t cut out entire food groups or change your daily menu all in 1 day).

4. Trust yourself and have your back. You’ve got this. You’re in control of your future whatever it holds. And, you know what? You’re in control of it today, not tomorrow. So what are the changes a decision you will make? Empower yourself by taking small steps: decide 1 most minor, tiniest thing each day and stick to it no matter what. It can be as simple as flossing just two teeth or 2 minutes stretching while your kettle is boiling, But do it every day, with no fail. See how it makes you feel, how it empowers you. If you can do that and trust yourself with this, imagine what else can you decide and feel great about it?

5. Think of the worst-case scenario. It sounds dramatic, I know 😉 But it’s something that helps a lot of my clients (and me also). What is the worst thing that can happen after you make the decision? Will you lose some money on fitness gear? Will you spend extra time organising your new healthy kitchen cupboards? Will you test out some healthier recipes that don’t taste so great? That your mum or a friend do not approve of your decision? The questions to ask here: is it all that bad? Can you handle it? If the answer is yes, you know what to do 🙂 

I want to leave you with this beautiful quote from this wise manI hope it will bring a smile on your face and that you open yourself up for a change. Or at least for a moment for reflection.

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.

”

— BARAK OBAMA