Are you having one of those days where you ask …‘what have I actually achieved today?’. ‘Was what I did even enough?’

Need. To. Do. More. 

This is a self limiting belief. And I want to help you overcome them.

In the world where it feels like we need to do more and more, achieve bigger and bigger, be someone different and better, meet others’ expectations … the bar feels like it never stops rising. As we age, and reach midlife- things are supposed to get better and easier..right? As women in our midlife we often feel this is the time we have it all figured out. But self-limiting beliefs keep popping up, and it’s difficult!

Midlife is often a time of change;  years go by faster, to-do-list seem to pile up every week, the job you’ve been doing doesn’t excite you anymore, the health routine you follow isn’t bringing you the same results, things moving too fast. Your midlife life can feel out of control.  You feel unpredictable, unknown, restless. It can quickly become a slippery road to overwhelm: under sleeping, under happiness, over doing, under being. 

HOW SELF-LIMITING BELIEFS EFFECT YOUR WELLBEING 

By being ‘fused’ and attached to a thought or a belief that is unhelpful or self-limiting (e.g. ‘I am not doing enough’ or ‘I need to do more to be worthy’), it may create more overwhelm, self-judgement and ultimately it is harder for you to see yourthoughts as separate from reality.. 

How midlife women can overcome self-limiting beliefs

1.     Your thoughts are just thoughts. They’re not reality.

You can try to see the thoughts for what they are: language, words, pictures created in our mind. They are limiting beliefs, not true facts.

2.     Change your response to your thoughts.

Rather than fighting your self-limiting beliefs and trying to change them, insteadaim to change your reponse to your self-limiting beliefs. Change how you view these thoughts and how much attention you pay to them. Remember they’re not true facts. The power is in your response!

3. Questions to ask yourself when self-limiting beliefs occur

• Ask yourself direct questions like ‘is believing this thought helpful for me right now?’. This forces you to stop the self-limiting thoughts in their tracks and challenges your thought patterns.
• Notice your self-limiting thoughts and detach yourself from themby simply saying: ‘I am noticing I am having that ‘not enoughness’ thought again’ or ‘here it goes, hello the ‘not enough thought’

Start to see your self-limiting beliefs as separate from you. 

With this, you can stay more present, get a perspective, realise that your thoughts are not you, and take better actions that feel good to you. 

Growing older doesn’t mean you will have it all figured out – things will get still challenging, to-do-lists will keep flowing, change will always be a  part of your daily life. And it’s not like the ‘not enoughness’ will magically go away. But, next time you have a repetitive thought that isn’t serving you or stalls your day, try the three ideas outlined in this article and notice how it shiftsyour mindset.. 

It may feel silly at first, but you might also quickly realise there’s nothing silly about learning to manage your mind. At any age.